Very hard and very alkaline tank water?

Hardness is off the chart, alkalinity is more than 8. What is the best way to get it back in parameters? This is my first tank since I moved to this town. My old town water never had this problem, so I'm not sure what to do about it. There are no fish stores nearby (I have to travel 30+ miles if Walmart doesn't carry it). I'm making the trip tomorrow to surrender my 2 catfish and Pleco. They aren't eating and deserve better. I'm on a budget, too.